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avatar Danruice9191 1 year.ago

How to prevent thieves from entering your house?

Grow a cotton farm at the entance

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My wife says I can act like a selfish asshole sometimes.

Before we were married she wouldn’t give me the permission…

2. Stephen Miller has a new plan to solve both immigration and hunger issues.

The government will issue soylent green cards to all immigrants.

3. The Lone Ranger captured

Captured by Indians tied to a stake the Indians went to gather wood to burn him he called Silver his trusty horse over whispered in his ear the horse galloped off toward town a while later his horse returned carrying a beautiful naked blonde the Lone Ranger yelled out I said posse

4. Why can’t you have a cocktail called "Excalibur"?

Because it’ll always be On the rocks.

5. Did you all see the eclipse yesterday?

It wasn't that great. One star.

6. Where do condiments go when there's an emergency?

Mustard Point.

7. The red buttons at the power plant used to be labeled "Emergency Stop"

But after the boss saw everyone's reaction when someone hit it by mistake, the sign was changed to say "panic button"

8. My grandad spent years designing the perfect denture container.

He wanted something to get his teeth into.

9. 4 sons with different mothers...

were named Brody, Kenny, Conrad and Dominic. On a night out with with thier dad, they asked how they got thier names. The dad replied "The answer is simple. Take the first three letters of you names and put them together".

10. The teacher thinks they've finally outsmarted Little Johnny

They set a test having checked the questions can't possibly have dirty answers. The class does the test and they look at Johnny's answers, and can't see any problems. So they read out the questions and get one of the good students to read out her answers. Question A: A person who sells tickets for a show Question B: A word for a rich or upper class person. Question C: The way a general might begin a speech The good student responds: A: Box Office Attendant B: Billionaire C: Troops! So she asks Little Johnny to do the same. He says A: Tout B: Toff C: Men!

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